{"id":1121,"date":"2019-02-08T17:14:33","date_gmt":"2019-02-09T00:14:33","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/ogbornelaw.com\/?p=1121"},"modified":"2023-07-21T20:36:09","modified_gmt":"2023-07-21T20:36:09","slug":"i-want-a-divorce-and-my-spouse-doesnt-what-do-i-do","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/webtechs-designs.com\/2023Ogborne\/i-want-a-divorce-and-my-spouse-doesnt-what-do-i-do\/","title":{"rendered":"I Want a Divorce and My Spouse Doesn&#8217;t. What do I do?"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>If you want a divorce and your spouse doesn\u2019t, it can be overwhelming to deal with negative\u00a0emotions.\u00a0Helplessness (<em>What can I do now?<\/em>), despair (<em>I can\u2019t live like this anymore.<\/em>) and anger (<em>They control everything, even this!<\/em>) can make you miserable and unsure.<\/p>\n<p>Before acting on these emotions, it&#8217;s important to find time to speak with them about your feelings.<\/p>\n<div id=\"ez-toc-container\" class=\"ez-toc-v2_0_76 counter-hierarchy ez-toc-counter ez-toc-grey ez-toc-container-direction\">\n<div class=\"ez-toc-title-container\">\n<p class=\"ez-toc-title\" style=\"cursor:inherit\">Table of Contents<\/p>\n<span class=\"ez-toc-title-toggle\"><a href=\"#\" class=\"ez-toc-pull-right ez-toc-btn ez-toc-btn-xs ez-toc-btn-default ez-toc-toggle\" aria-label=\"Toggle Table of Content\"><span class=\"ez-toc-js-icon-con\"><span class=\"\"><span class=\"eztoc-hide\" style=\"display:none;\">Toggle<\/span><span class=\"ez-toc-icon-toggle-span\"><svg style=\"fill: #999;color:#999\" xmlns=\"http:\/\/www.w3.org\/2000\/svg\" class=\"list-377408\" width=\"20px\" height=\"20px\" viewBox=\"0 0 24 24\" fill=\"none\"><path d=\"M6 6H4v2h2V6zm14 0H8v2h12V6zM4 11h2v2H4v-2zm16 0H8v2h12v-2zM4 16h2v2H4v-2zm16 0H8v2h12v-2z\" fill=\"currentColor\"><\/path><\/svg><svg style=\"fill: #999;color:#999\" class=\"arrow-unsorted-368013\" xmlns=\"http:\/\/www.w3.org\/2000\/svg\" width=\"10px\" height=\"10px\" viewBox=\"0 0 24 24\" version=\"1.2\" baseProfile=\"tiny\"><path d=\"M18.2 9.3l-6.2-6.3-6.2 6.3c-.2.2-.3.4-.3.7s.1.5.3.7c.2.2.4.3.7.3h11c.3 0 .5-.1.7-.3.2-.2.3-.5.3-.7s-.1-.5-.3-.7zM5.8 14.7l6.2 6.3 6.2-6.3c.2-.2.3-.5.3-.7s-.1-.5-.3-.7c-.2-.2-.4-.3-.7-.3h-11c-.3 0-.5.1-.7.3-.2.2-.3.5-.3.7s.1.5.3.7z\"\/><\/svg><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/a><\/span><\/div>\n<nav><ul class='ez-toc-list ez-toc-list-level-1 ' ><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-1\" href=\"https:\/\/webtechs-designs.com\/2023Ogborne\/i-want-a-divorce-and-my-spouse-doesnt-what-do-i-do\/#If_You_Want_a_Divorce_Its_Time_to_Talk\" >If You Want a Divorce, It\u2019s Time to Talk<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-2\" href=\"https:\/\/webtechs-designs.com\/2023Ogborne\/i-want-a-divorce-and-my-spouse-doesnt-what-do-i-do\/#Dont_Use_Words_as_Weapons\" >Don\u2019t Use Words as Weapons<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-3\" href=\"https:\/\/webtechs-designs.com\/2023Ogborne\/i-want-a-divorce-and-my-spouse-doesnt-what-do-i-do\/#When_You_Want_a_Divorce_Explore_Your_Options\" >When You Want a Divorce, Explore Your Options<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-4\" href=\"https:\/\/webtechs-designs.com\/2023Ogborne\/i-want-a-divorce-and-my-spouse-doesnt-what-do-i-do\/#Legal_Separation_and_Collaborative_Divorce\" >Legal Separation and Collaborative Divorce<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-5\" href=\"https:\/\/webtechs-designs.com\/2023Ogborne\/i-want-a-divorce-and-my-spouse-doesnt-what-do-i-do\/#You_Have_Choices\" >You Have Choices<\/a><\/li><\/ul><\/nav><\/div>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"If_You_Want_a_Divorce_Its_Time_to_Talk\"><\/span>If You Want a Divorce, It\u2019s Time to Talk<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p>This is ironic because your marital communications may be the worst they\u2019ve ever been. Now\u00a0that you want a divorce, you\u2019re supposed to talk to each other?<\/p>\n<p>Discussions often escalate into disagreements and then arguments. You may be playing the blame-game, which often focuses on something that happened years ago. If you have children, they may be laying on a guilt trip, convincing you that you\u2019re a\u00a0bad parent because you want a divorce.<\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Dont_Use_Words_as_Weapons\"><\/span>Don\u2019t Use Words as Weapons<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p>When you&#8217;re afraid of change, you\u00a0may pull out all the stops to protect yourself. When\u00a0you want a divorce and your partner doesn&#8217;t, better communication can begin\u00a0with you. You should focus on your partner\u2019s uncertainties. Fears may include\u00a0money, living alone, \u201closing the kids,\u201d or any number of suspected\u00a0changes a divorce may bring about.<\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"When_You_Want_a_Divorce_Explore_Your_Options\"><\/span>When You Want a Divorce, Explore Your Options<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p>Appoint a time and place where both of you will have no distractions. Create an agenda based on your fears and feelings. One of your rules should be to\u00a0focus on &#8220;I&#8221; statements. At this meeting, discuss divorce options, including legal separation and <a href=\"https:\/\/ogbornelaw.com\/services\/collaborative-divorce\/\">collaborative divorce<\/a>.<\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Legal_Separation_and_Collaborative_Divorce\"><\/span>Legal Separation and Collaborative Divorce<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p>What\u2019s the difference between a legal separation and divorce? \u201cThe process for both is similar,\u201d says family law attorney Michelle Ogborne. \u201cSome couples choose to legally separate first when they want time to see if they can work on the marriage, while others are ready to move directly to divorce proceedings.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>If you want a divorce and you\u2019re positive this will be your relationship\u2019s ultimate outcome, should you still consider a <a href=\"https:\/\/ogbornelaw.com\/faq\/difference-divorce-legal-separation\/\">legal separation<\/a>?<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>A legal separation confirms how financial and familial responsibilities will be divided. An informal \u201ctrial separation\u201d can lead to on-the-fly decisions and even more disagreements than before.<\/li>\n<li>Insurance policies continue as before \u2013 usually \u2013 but check all insurance policies (especially health insurance) to see if a legal separation changes the coverage.<\/li>\n<li>Joint tax returns may be more cost-effective.<\/li>\n<li>Military benefits continue uninterrupted.<\/li>\n<li>Separation allows you time to be sure this is really what you want.<\/li>\n<li>Staying married may have other financial benefits and could include retirement\/social security benefit advantages.<\/li>\n<li>The experience of living alone and sharing the kids can allay your spouse\u2019s fears. Divorce then seems less terrifying than before.<\/li>\n<li>You will still be married in accordance with your church.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>A legal separation is as binding as a divorce, so be careful. Your <a href=\"https:\/\/ogbornelaw.com\/\">Arizona attorney<\/a> can help you stay future-focused. You don\u2019t want to commit to things you \u201cthink you can live with now\u201d only to discover weeks or months later that you really can\u2019t.<\/p>\n<p>If you and your spouse aren\u2019t on the same page about divorce, it could end up in litigation and be a <em>huge ugly divorce<\/em>. Talking about it can open up options for you to work together by using the collaborative process.<\/p>\n<p>A<\/p>\n<p>Not only will you learn communication skills that help when you want a divorce, but they can also have lifetime value. You\u2019ll be able to re-capture the respect you had for your spouse and work toward mutual benefit. You\u2019ll strive to understand your partner\u2019s fears and explore ways to strengthen yourselves as individuals and as a family.<\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"You_Have_Choices\"><\/span>You Have Choices<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p>When you want a divorce or separation in Arizona, meet with an <a href=\"https:\/\/ogbornelaw.com\/about-us\/\">experienced collaborative divorce attorney<\/a> to discuss how to have this conversation with your spouse. <a href=\"https:\/\/ogbornelaw.com\/contact\/\">Contact Ogborne Law, PLC to learn more.<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>You want a divorce and your spouse doesn\u2019t. What\u2019s next? You have Arizona divorce and separation solutions with Ogborne Law.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":11398,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[32,30],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1121","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-collaborative-divorce","category-divorce","category-32","category-30","description-off"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v24.4 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>I Want a Divorce and My Spouse Doesn&#039;t. What do I do? - Ogborne Law, PLC<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"You want a divorce and your spouse doesn\u2019t. What\u2019s next? 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