{"id":1175,"date":"2019-06-03T07:25:49","date_gmt":"2019-06-03T14:25:49","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/ogbornelaw.com\/?p=1175"},"modified":"2023-07-21T19:39:22","modified_gmt":"2023-07-21T19:39:22","slug":"what-to-do-when-the-marriage-separation-fails","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/webtechs-designs.com\/2023Ogborne\/what-to-do-when-the-marriage-separation-fails\/","title":{"rendered":"What to do when the marriage separation fails"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>It\u2019s difficult for most of us to wrap our heads around divorce. It\u2019s a huge life change. Here\u2019s what you know: both of you are unhappy with the status quo. There are too many arguments, and even worse, too many long silences. You\u2019re miserable, and that misery follows you to work; it permeates everything you do. It\u2019s time to discuss a marriage separation.<\/p>\n<blockquote><p>Rather than a means to an end\u2026 separation can be a helpful tool to\u00a0stay together.\u00a0&#8211;<a href=\"https:\/\/www.psychologytoday.com\/us\/blog\/contemplating-divorce\/201004\/can-temporary-separation-make-relationship-stronger\" data-cke-saved-href=\"https:\/\/www.psychologytoday.com\/us\/blog\/contemplating-divorce\/201004\/can-temporary-separation-make-relationship-stronger\">Psychology Today<\/a><\/p><\/blockquote>\n<div id=\"ez-toc-container\" class=\"ez-toc-v2_0_76 counter-hierarchy ez-toc-counter ez-toc-grey ez-toc-container-direction\">\n<div class=\"ez-toc-title-container\">\n<p class=\"ez-toc-title\" style=\"cursor:inherit\">Table of Contents<\/p>\n<span class=\"ez-toc-title-toggle\"><a href=\"#\" class=\"ez-toc-pull-right ez-toc-btn ez-toc-btn-xs ez-toc-btn-default ez-toc-toggle\" aria-label=\"Toggle Table of Content\"><span class=\"ez-toc-js-icon-con\"><span class=\"\"><span class=\"eztoc-hide\" style=\"display:none;\">Toggle<\/span><span class=\"ez-toc-icon-toggle-span\"><svg style=\"fill: #999;color:#999\" xmlns=\"http:\/\/www.w3.org\/2000\/svg\" class=\"list-377408\" width=\"20px\" height=\"20px\" viewBox=\"0 0 24 24\" fill=\"none\"><path d=\"M6 6H4v2h2V6zm14 0H8v2h12V6zM4 11h2v2H4v-2zm16 0H8v2h12v-2zM4 16h2v2H4v-2zm16 0H8v2h12v-2z\" fill=\"currentColor\"><\/path><\/svg><svg style=\"fill: #999;color:#999\" class=\"arrow-unsorted-368013\" xmlns=\"http:\/\/www.w3.org\/2000\/svg\" width=\"10px\" height=\"10px\" viewBox=\"0 0 24 24\" version=\"1.2\" baseProfile=\"tiny\"><path d=\"M18.2 9.3l-6.2-6.3-6.2 6.3c-.2.2-.3.4-.3.7s.1.5.3.7c.2.2.4.3.7.3h11c.3 0 .5-.1.7-.3.2-.2.3-.5.3-.7s-.1-.5-.3-.7zM5.8 14.7l6.2 6.3 6.2-6.3c.2-.2.3-.5.3-.7s-.1-.5-.3-.7c-.2-.2-.4-.3-.7-.3h-11c-.3 0-.5.1-.7.3-.2.2-.3.5-.3.7s.1.5.3.7z\"\/><\/svg><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/a><\/span><\/div>\n<nav><ul class='ez-toc-list ez-toc-list-level-1 ' ><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-1\" href=\"https:\/\/webtechs-designs.com\/2023Ogborne\/what-to-do-when-the-marriage-separation-fails\/#5_Tips_for_Planning_a_Marriage_Separation\" >5 Tips for Planning a Marriage Separation<\/a><ul class='ez-toc-list-level-3' ><li class='ez-toc-heading-level-3'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-2\" href=\"https:\/\/webtechs-designs.com\/2023Ogborne\/what-to-do-when-the-marriage-separation-fails\/#1_Set_a_Timeframe\" >1. Set a Timeframe<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-3'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-3\" href=\"https:\/\/webtechs-designs.com\/2023Ogborne\/what-to-do-when-the-marriage-separation-fails\/#2_Make_Rules\" >2. Make Rules<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-3'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-4\" href=\"https:\/\/webtechs-designs.com\/2023Ogborne\/what-to-do-when-the-marriage-separation-fails\/#3_Go_to_Couples_Counseling\" >3. Go to Couples Counseling<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-3'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-5\" href=\"https:\/\/webtechs-designs.com\/2023Ogborne\/what-to-do-when-the-marriage-separation-fails\/#4_Keep_Your_Finances_Fair\" >4. Keep Your Finances Fair<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-3'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-6\" href=\"https:\/\/webtechs-designs.com\/2023Ogborne\/what-to-do-when-the-marriage-separation-fails\/#5_Intimacy_Issues\" >5. Intimacy Issues<\/a><\/li><\/ul><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-7\" href=\"https:\/\/webtechs-designs.com\/2023Ogborne\/what-to-do-when-the-marriage-separation-fails\/#When_Marriage_Separation_Fails_Arizona_Collaborative_Divorce\" >When Marriage Separation Fails: Arizona Collaborative Divorce<\/a><\/li><\/ul><\/nav><\/div>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"5_Tips_for_Planning_a_Marriage_Separation\"><\/span>5 Tips for Planning a Marriage Separation<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p>The goal of a marriage separation is to give you both space. You need emotional and physical space to find out if a trial separation might be the fix to your damaged relationship. Perhaps your marriage separation will lead to reconciliation. It may lead to divorce.<\/p>\n<p>To do it the right way, don\u2019t make the decision to separate during a heated argument. Just like everything else, to give a marriage separation its best shot, you have to plan.<\/p>\n<h3><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"1_Set_a_Timeframe\"><\/span>1. Set a Timeframe<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h3>\n<p>\u201cLet\u2019s wait and see how it goes\u201d is a very bad plan. Your marriage separation needs a timeframe attached to it. Consider six to nine months. The longer your marriage separation\u00a0lingers, the harder it will be to take the next step.<\/p>\n<h3><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"2_Make_Rules\"><\/span>2. Make Rules<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h3>\n<p>You need to set boundaries and make rules for your marriage separation. For example, how often will you connect? Are one text per day and a weekly phone call enough? What about a bi-weekly face-to-face breakfast?<\/p>\n<p>If you have children, you need to set drop-off and pickup guidelines for school activities and visitation. One of you may want no social media mention of your marriage separation or new living arrangement.\u00a0One of you may want to date.<\/p>\n<p>Dating is not generally a good idea. (This is not the time to pursue new relationships.)\u00a0If you&#8217;re ready to date, then separation may not be what your marriage needs.<\/p>\n<h3><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"3_Go_to_Couples_Counseling\"><\/span>3. Go to Couples Counseling<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h3>\n<p>This is a time when you need a neutral third party to facilitate productive conversations. A marriage therapist can give you communication tools that reinforce respect and affection. You\u2019ll learn to manage the arguments that always hurt and never resolve\u00a0anything. A <a href=\"https:\/\/ogbornelaw.com\/services\/mediation\/\" data-cke-saved-href=\"https:\/\/ogbornelaw.com\/services\/mediation\/\">mediator<\/a> can help you define your goals as a family and as individuals.<\/p>\n<h3><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"4_Keep_Your_Finances_Fair\"><\/span>4. Keep Your Finances Fair<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h3>\n<p>Remember, this marriage separation is an agreement&#8211;a commitment. If at all possible, both of you should deal with finances fairly and unemotionally. Saying things like, \u201cyou want a separation? You pay for it!\u201d won\u2019t make your marriage separation work any better.<\/p>\n<h3><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"5_Intimacy_Issues\"><\/span>5. Intimacy Issues<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h3>\n<p>You need to decide if you will \u201cdate\u201d each other and\/or have sexual contact. Quite frankly, intimacy with each other may distract you from your goal: to give each other space. It can also delay the resolution of your real issues and prolong the marriage separation.<\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"When_Marriage_Separation_Fails_Arizona_Collaborative_Divorce\"><\/span>When Marriage Separation Fails: Arizona Collaborative Divorce<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p>You planned your marriage separation the best possible way, and it failed.\u00a0If you still feel a divorce is needed, consider a collaborative divorce. Couples who want a divorce with dignity or who share\u00a0children discover <a href=\"https:\/\/ogbornelaw.com\/services\/collaborative-divorce\/\" data-cke-saved-href=\"https:\/\/ogbornelaw.com\/services\/collaborative-divorce\/\">collaborative divorce<\/a> is better than traditional, litigious divorce.<\/p>\n<p>If you and your spouse want to minimize emotional damage while preserving your family, collaborative divorce is for you. The legal professionals at <a href=\"https:\/\/ogbornelaw.com\/\" data-cke-saved-href=\"https:\/\/ogbornelaw.com\/\">Ogborne Law, PLC<\/a> can help you not only structure a legal divorce but also\u00a0protect your family\u2019s interests for the future.<\/p>\n<p>No courtroom drama. No unwanted publicity. Collaborative divorce is a\u00a0win-win way to end your marriage. <a href=\"https:\/\/ogbornelaw.com\/contact\/\">Contact Ogborne Law to learn more<\/a> about marital separation and <a href=\"https:\/\/ogbornelaw.com\/divorce-contested-collaboration\/\" data-cke-saved-href=\"https:\/\/ogbornelaw.com\/divorce-contested-collaboration\/\">Arizona collaborative divorce<\/a>.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>You followed all the rules, but your marriage separation didn\u2019t work. Learn why Arizona collaborative divorce is the next step.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":11331,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[32,38,31,39],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1175","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-collaborative-divorce","category-communication","category-family-law","category-marriage","category-32","category-38","category-31","category-39","description-off"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v24.4 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>What to do when the marriage separation fails - Ogborne Law, PLC<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"You followed all the rules, but your marriage separation didn\u2019t work. 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