{"id":284,"date":"2016-06-13T10:25:27","date_gmt":"2016-06-13T17:25:27","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/ogbornelaw.com\/?p=284"},"modified":"2023-07-24T21:49:53","modified_gmt":"2023-07-24T21:49:53","slug":"building-relationships-intimacy","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/webtechs-designs.com\/2023Ogborne\/building-relationships-intimacy\/","title":{"rendered":"Building Intimacy in Relationships"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>When you hear the word intimacy as it refers to relationships, the likelihood is that you think of sex. In reality, though, intimacy is so much more than a sexual connection.<\/p>\n<p>You can have an intimate relationship with someone who\u2019s never even seen you naked. Intimacy is about vulnerability, that connection you make with someone.<\/p>\n<div id=\"ez-toc-container\" class=\"ez-toc-v2_0_76 counter-hierarchy ez-toc-counter ez-toc-grey ez-toc-container-direction\">\n<div class=\"ez-toc-title-container\">\n<p class=\"ez-toc-title\" style=\"cursor:inherit\">Table of Contents<\/p>\n<span class=\"ez-toc-title-toggle\"><a href=\"#\" class=\"ez-toc-pull-right ez-toc-btn ez-toc-btn-xs ez-toc-btn-default ez-toc-toggle\" aria-label=\"Toggle Table of Content\"><span class=\"ez-toc-js-icon-con\"><span class=\"\"><span class=\"eztoc-hide\" style=\"display:none;\">Toggle<\/span><span class=\"ez-toc-icon-toggle-span\"><svg style=\"fill: #999;color:#999\" xmlns=\"http:\/\/www.w3.org\/2000\/svg\" class=\"list-377408\" width=\"20px\" height=\"20px\" viewBox=\"0 0 24 24\" fill=\"none\"><path d=\"M6 6H4v2h2V6zm14 0H8v2h12V6zM4 11h2v2H4v-2zm16 0H8v2h12v-2zM4 16h2v2H4v-2zm16 0H8v2h12v-2z\" fill=\"currentColor\"><\/path><\/svg><svg style=\"fill: #999;color:#999\" class=\"arrow-unsorted-368013\" xmlns=\"http:\/\/www.w3.org\/2000\/svg\" width=\"10px\" height=\"10px\" viewBox=\"0 0 24 24\" version=\"1.2\" baseProfile=\"tiny\"><path d=\"M18.2 9.3l-6.2-6.3-6.2 6.3c-.2.2-.3.4-.3.7s.1.5.3.7c.2.2.4.3.7.3h11c.3 0 .5-.1.7-.3.2-.2.3-.5.3-.7s-.1-.5-.3-.7zM5.8 14.7l6.2 6.3 6.2-6.3c.2-.2.3-.5.3-.7s-.1-.5-.3-.7c-.2-.2-.4-.3-.7-.3h-11c-.3 0-.5.1-.7.3-.2.2-.3.5-.3.7s.1.5.3.7z\"\/><\/svg><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/a><\/span><\/div>\n<nav><ul class='ez-toc-list ez-toc-list-level-1 ' ><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-3'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-1\" href=\"https:\/\/webtechs-designs.com\/2023Ogborne\/building-relationships-intimacy\/#Types_of_Intimacy\" >Types of Intimacy<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-3'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-2\" href=\"https:\/\/webtechs-designs.com\/2023Ogborne\/building-relationships-intimacy\/#Know_How_You_Define_Intimacy\" >Know How You Define Intimacy<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-3'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-3\" href=\"https:\/\/webtechs-designs.com\/2023Ogborne\/building-relationships-intimacy\/#Building_or_Rebuilding_Intimacy\" >Building (or Rebuilding) Intimacy<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-3'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-4\" href=\"https:\/\/webtechs-designs.com\/2023Ogborne\/building-relationships-intimacy\/#Intentional_Intimacy\" >Intentional Intimacy<\/a><\/li><\/ul><\/nav><\/div>\n<h3><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Types_of_Intimacy\"><\/span>Types of Intimacy<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h3>\n<p>Experts distinguish between four different types of intimacy: physical, emotional, cognitive, and experiential.<\/p>\n<p>Physical intimacy is what we often think of first when thinking of intimacy. That\u2019s the touching component and may include sex, but it doesn\u2019t have to. It\u2019s touching as an act of loving and giving, either as romantic partners would do but also the physical connection between a parent and child.<\/p>\n<p>Emotional intimacy is the sharing of feelings with another person. For some people, this requires a higher level of vulnerability than physical intimacy does because it can provide insight into each other\u2019s souls.<\/p>\n<p>Cognitive intimacy is sharing thoughts and ideas in a way that bonds you. Two people who enjoy a discourse on a particular topic of interest are engaged in cognitive intimacy.<\/p>\n<p>Experiential intimacy is when two people are doing things together, perhaps without even speaking. This could be something like dancing, painting, or building something. The experience is shared, bringing the people closer together.<\/p>\n<h3><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Know_How_You_Define_Intimacy\"><\/span>Know How You Define Intimacy<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h3>\n<p>While some people are firing on all cylinders and share love with their partner through all of the four intimacy areas, most people aren\u2019t quite that lucky.<\/p>\n<p>If you\u2019re familiar with the Five Love Languages, you\u2019ll understand that we define love and intimacy in different ways. As author Gary Chapman points out, the ways we connect and build our store of love are through physical touch, quality time, gifts, words of affirmation, and acts of service. The biggest challenge, as he states it, is that many couples don\u2019t speak the same love language, causing for huge bouts of miscommunication.<\/p>\n<p>Let\u2019s say that you are a physical touch person, and you like to be close to your partner, whether that is with sex, a backrub, or just cuddling on the couch. Your partner, on the other hand, is an acts of service person.<\/p>\n<p>She feels loved when you do the dishes, clean the garage, or take care of the children. When she doesn\u2019t get love in the way she expects (acts of service), she is far less likely to give love in the way you want (physical touch), leading to less and less intimacy in the relationship.<\/p>\n<h3><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Building_or_Rebuilding_Intimacy\"><\/span>Building (or Rebuilding) Intimacy<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h3>\n<p>Knowing your brand of intimacy is a great first step in being able to create a strong intimate bond with your partner. If you are a words of affirmation person and feel comfortable with cognitive intimacy, that can be a good place to start. Likewise, if you are a physical touch person and physical intimacy resonates with you, you\u2019ll gravitate there.<\/p>\n<p>The important thing to know is what your intimacy style is and what your partner\u2019s is so you can work together to help each other feel loved and connected. You can certainly have a strong relationship without covering all aspects of intimacy or all love languages; it\u2019s the commitment you share that makes the difference.<\/p>\n<h3><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Intentional_Intimacy\"><\/span>Intentional Intimacy<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h3>\n<p>You\u2019ve heard of conscious uncoupling, so let\u2019s talk about conscious coupling!<\/p>\n<p>It can be hard to find any time to be intimate when you have work, kids, and life pulling you in all different directions. Make the time for yourselves by doing something fun.<\/p>\n<p><u>Schedule Date Night<\/u><\/p>\n<p>You schedule work appointments and gym time; doesn\u2019t your relationship deserve the same amount of forethought and focus? Get a sitter, make a plan, and spend some time together. Maybe it\u2019s not always dinner but a lunch date or even breakfast.<\/p>\n<p>And you don\u2019t have to spend a lot of money. A walk in the park holding hands and talking about life can be a very intimate experience.<\/p>\n<p><u>Be Kids Together<\/u><\/p>\n<p>It\u2019s hard to always be a grown-up. And it\u2019s stressful too! Let go of life for a little bit and get silly. Blow bubbles, read a book to each other, play on the jungle gym, or get into a tickle war. All of the ways you build intimacy with your children are excellent ways to build intimacy with your partner.<\/p>\n<p>And when you act like kids, you let your guard down. Who knows where the adventure will take you.<\/p>\n<p><u>Plan for Sex<\/u><\/p>\n<p>Okay, there\u2019s nothing sexy about putting sex on your calendar, but when the spark has dimmed, it\u2019s really important to intentionally relight it. Spending time together is fun and certainly intimate, but a long-term relationship needs sexual, physical intimacy to thrive.<\/p>\n<p>It might feel robotic at first to have a sex date, but once you have reengaged, you\u2019ll find yourselves finding more and more opportunities to put the kids to bed early and get some alone time.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Intimacy isn&#8217;t just about sex or physical touch. It&#8217;s about creating a connection between you and your partner can connect meaningfully. Creating and sustaining intimacy in your relationship is the single most powerful way to protect it. Learn about intentional intimacy.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":11665,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[38,39],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-284","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-communication","category-marriage","category-38","category-39","description-off"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v24.4 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Building Intimacy in Relationships<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Intimacy isn&#039;t just about sex or physical touch. 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