{"id":743,"date":"2018-03-26T07:26:59","date_gmt":"2018-03-26T14:26:59","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/ogbornelaw.com\/?p=743"},"modified":"2023-07-24T18:23:54","modified_gmt":"2023-07-24T18:23:54","slug":"6-communication-rules-to-save-your-marriage","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/webtechs-designs.com\/2023Ogborne\/6-communication-rules-to-save-your-marriage\/","title":{"rendered":"6 Communication Rules to Save Your Marriage"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Communication rules are necessary for business, at schools, and in commercial\/retail settings, but they may be missing from the most important place in your life: Your marriage. When you know your marriage is in trouble, but don\u2019t want to end it for all the right reasons, your first task is to identify the problems and then set communication rules with your partner. And remember, nonverbal communication can do as much damage as harsh words.<\/p>\n<p>However, communication rules won\u2019t save your marriage \u2013 trust and passion require actions, not words \u2013 but the discipline of following communication rules can impact how you feel. You may find yourself <em>feeling<\/em> more positive because the words you use are helpful and curative, not destructive.<\/p>\n<div id=\"ez-toc-container\" class=\"ez-toc-v2_0_76 counter-hierarchy ez-toc-counter ez-toc-grey ez-toc-container-direction\">\n<div class=\"ez-toc-title-container\">\n<p class=\"ez-toc-title\" style=\"cursor:inherit\">Table of Contents<\/p>\n<span class=\"ez-toc-title-toggle\"><a href=\"#\" class=\"ez-toc-pull-right ez-toc-btn ez-toc-btn-xs ez-toc-btn-default ez-toc-toggle\" aria-label=\"Toggle Table of Content\"><span class=\"ez-toc-js-icon-con\"><span class=\"\"><span class=\"eztoc-hide\" style=\"display:none;\">Toggle<\/span><span class=\"ez-toc-icon-toggle-span\"><svg style=\"fill: #999;color:#999\" xmlns=\"http:\/\/www.w3.org\/2000\/svg\" class=\"list-377408\" width=\"20px\" height=\"20px\" viewBox=\"0 0 24 24\" fill=\"none\"><path d=\"M6 6H4v2h2V6zm14 0H8v2h12V6zM4 11h2v2H4v-2zm16 0H8v2h12v-2zM4 16h2v2H4v-2zm16 0H8v2h12v-2z\" fill=\"currentColor\"><\/path><\/svg><svg style=\"fill: #999;color:#999\" class=\"arrow-unsorted-368013\" xmlns=\"http:\/\/www.w3.org\/2000\/svg\" width=\"10px\" height=\"10px\" viewBox=\"0 0 24 24\" version=\"1.2\" baseProfile=\"tiny\"><path d=\"M18.2 9.3l-6.2-6.3-6.2 6.3c-.2.2-.3.4-.3.7s.1.5.3.7c.2.2.4.3.7.3h11c.3 0 .5-.1.7-.3.2-.2.3-.5.3-.7s-.1-.5-.3-.7zM5.8 14.7l6.2 6.3 6.2-6.3c.2-.2.3-.5.3-.7s-.1-.5-.3-.7c-.2-.2-.4-.3-.7-.3h-11c-.3 0-.5.1-.7.3-.2.2-.3.5-.3.7s.1.5.3.7z\"\/><\/svg><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/a><\/span><\/div>\n<nav><ul class='ez-toc-list ez-toc-list-level-1 ' ><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-1\" href=\"https:\/\/webtechs-designs.com\/2023Ogborne\/6-communication-rules-to-save-your-marriage\/#Marriage-Saving_Communication_Rules\" >Marriage-Saving Communication Rules<\/a><ul class='ez-toc-list-level-3' ><li class='ez-toc-heading-level-3'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-2\" href=\"https:\/\/webtechs-designs.com\/2023Ogborne\/6-communication-rules-to-save-your-marriage\/#1_Be_willing_to_accept_and_work_on_your_faults\" >1. Be willing to accept and work on your faults.<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-3'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-3\" href=\"https:\/\/webtechs-designs.com\/2023Ogborne\/6-communication-rules-to-save-your-marriage\/#2_Call_out_nonverbal_communication\" >2. Call out nonverbal communication.<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-3'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-4\" href=\"https:\/\/webtechs-designs.com\/2023Ogborne\/6-communication-rules-to-save-your-marriage\/#3_Inject_positive_words_into_the_conversation_as_often_as_possible\" >3. Inject positive words into the conversation as often as possible.<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-3'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-5\" href=\"https:\/\/webtechs-designs.com\/2023Ogborne\/6-communication-rules-to-save-your-marriage\/#4_Look_and_listen\" >4. Look and listen.<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-3'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-6\" href=\"https:\/\/webtechs-designs.com\/2023Ogborne\/6-communication-rules-to-save-your-marriage\/#5_Timing_is_important\" >5. Timing is important.<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-3'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-7\" href=\"https:\/\/webtechs-designs.com\/2023Ogborne\/6-communication-rules-to-save-your-marriage\/#6_Control_your_emotions\" >6. Control your emotions.<\/a><\/li><\/ul><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-8\" href=\"https:\/\/webtechs-designs.com\/2023Ogborne\/6-communication-rules-to-save-your-marriage\/#Marriage-Saving_%E2%80%98Rules_Get_It_in_Writing\" >Marriage-Saving \u2018Rules:\u2019 Get It in Writing<\/a><\/li><\/ul><\/nav><\/div>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Marriage-Saving_Communication_Rules\"><\/span>Marriage-Saving Communication Rules<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p>Here are some communication rules and tips from various experts and marriage professionals. You may not be able to follow all of them all the time, but using effective communication rules should be your goal, every day.<\/p>\n<h3><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"1_Be_willing_to_accept_and_work_on_your_faults\"><\/span>1. Be willing to accept and work on your faults.<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h3>\n<p>A good communication rule is to verbally acknowledge areas of failure rather than play the blame game and talk about what <em>you<\/em> (not your partner) can do to save your marriage.<\/p>\n<h3><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"2_Call_out_nonverbal_communication\"><\/span>2. Call out nonverbal communication.<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h3>\n<p>Because we are often unaware of our nonverbal signals, we may unwittingly hurt each other. Follow the, \u201cWhen you do this, I feel\u2026\u201d model. Here\u2019s an example, \u201cWhen you made that face just now, I felt like I am too needy or dumb. I don\u2019t want to feel that way.\u201d <a href=\"https:\/\/www.universalclass.com\/articles\/self-help\/the-role-of-nonverbal-communication-in-effective-communication.htm\" data-cke-saved-href=\"https:\/\/www.universalclass.com\/articles\/self-help\/the-role-of-nonverbal-communication-in-effective-communication.htm\">Nonverbal communication<\/a> includes:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>Body language<\/li>\n<li>Eye contact, or lack of<\/li>\n<li>Facial expressions<\/li>\n<li>Space invasion \u2013 Make a rule to remain at arm\u2019s length.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<h3><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"3_Inject_positive_words_into_the_conversation_as_often_as_possible\"><\/span>3. Inject positive words into the conversation as often as possible.<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h3>\n<p>Expressing yourself negatively can lead to a habit of negative feelings and thinking. You can actually train your brain to feel better.<\/p>\n<h3><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"4_Look_and_listen\"><\/span>4. Look and listen.<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h3>\n<p>One of the oldie but goodies communication rules is to repeat back what you think you heard. You may have misunderstood, and that contributes to marital issues. Nonverbal clues are important too. During your conversations, if you repeatedly check your cell phone for messages \u2013 or worse, respond to messages \u2013 you\u2019re sending a clear signal that this conversation (and your partner) is not a priority.<\/p>\n<h3><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"5_Timing_is_important\"><\/span>5. Timing is important.<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h3>\n<p>You\u2019re both leaving for work, the kids are clamoring for breakfast and backpacks. This is not a good time to talk seriously. It is a good time to <em>schedule <\/em>a time to talk, later in the day. One of your communication rules should be to make frequent appointments to talk.<\/p>\n<h3><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"6_Control_your_emotions\"><\/span>6. Control your emotions.<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h3>\n<p>Easier said than done, for sure. But no one wins an argument, ever. One rule; verbal communication can be stopped if one or both of you feel emotions escalating. \u201cWe are generally aware of the verbal signals we are sending, although we may be unaware of an extra unnecessary cutting word or two that we added. We are <em>unaware<\/em> of the non-verbal communication we are expressing, especially when we are in an emotional state,\u201d says marriage site <a href=\"http:\/\/www.agape-aid.org\/saveamarriage\/savemarriagebeforestart.php\" data-cke-saved-href=\"http:\/\/www.agape-aid.org\/saveamarriage\/savemarriagebeforestart.php\">Agape<\/a>. You can control your emotions by ending the conversation and agreeing to talk again when you feel better able to communicate effectively.<\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Marriage-Saving_%E2%80%98Rules_Get_It_in_Writing\"><\/span>Marriage-Saving \u2018Rules:\u2019 Get It in Writing<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p>If you didn\u2019t get a <a href=\"https:\/\/ogbornelaw.com\/should-i-get-a-prenuptial-agreement\/\" data-cke-saved-href=\"https:\/\/ogbornelaw.com\/should-i-get-a-prenuptial-agreement\/\">prenuptial agreement<\/a>, perhaps now is the time to consider one! Yes, you\u2019re already married, but perhaps you\u2019re ready for a new marriage to the same partner. Maybe you want to live together using a different set of communication rules. Consider a formal agreement between the two of you; call it a \u201c<a href=\"https:\/\/ogbornelaw.com\/prenup-cover\/\" data-cke-saved-href=\"https:\/\/ogbornelaw.com\/prenup-cover\/\">postnuptial agreement<\/a>,\u201d and structure a new beginning with the person you love.<\/p>\n<p>At\u00a0<a href=\"https:\/\/ogbornelaw.com\/\" data-cke-saved-href=\"https:\/\/ogbornelaw.com\/\">Ogborne Law<\/a>, we believe collaboration is the key to a successful marriage and putting your intentions, hopes, and communication rules on a legal document is a good idea. We can help with your prenuptial, postnuptial, and <a href=\"https:\/\/ogbornelaw.com\/services\/estate-planning\/\" data-cke-saved-href=\"https:\/\/ogbornelaw.com\/services\/estate-planning\/\">estate planning<\/a> documents in a stress-free way that can protect and reflect the best interests of you, your partner, and your family. <a href=\"https:\/\/ogbornelaw.com\/contact\/\" data-cke-saved-href=\"https:\/\/ogbornelaw.com\/contact\/\">Contact<\/a> Ogborne Law to <a href=\"https:\/\/ogbornelaw.com\/schedule-a-consultation\/\" data-cke-saved-href=\"https:\/\/ogbornelaw.com\/schedule-a-consultation\/\">schedule a consultation<\/a>.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Communication rules are necessary, especially in the most important place in your life: Your marriage. If your marriage is in trouble, your first task is to identify the problems and then set communication rules with your partner.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":11536,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[38,39],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-743","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-communication","category-marriage","category-38","category-39","description-off"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v24.4 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>6 Communication Rules to Save Your Marriage - Ogborne Law, PLC<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Communication rules are necessary, especially in the most important place in your life: Your marriage. 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